The big 2-0!! and other happenings in my life.

That's right. I am officially 2o, good bye teenage years. It's a strange sort of feeling, really can't describe it. One part of me is ecstatic because that means a time to celebrate my day o' birth with my friends. The other part is hesitant. If all goes well this means I am a quarter done with my life. The past 20 years have gone by so quickly that it scares me only another 20 fast years I'll be 40. Holy shit. I can't sleep. I keep thinking about my birthday party tomorrow and all the great friends I will see. Some of them I haven't seen in years. So partying tomorrow night err..tonight, shall be an interesting and memorable one at that. Complete and utter mayhem.
I took it easy the night before my party so that I have enough energy to keep up with the outrageous activities that will occur.
**Warning: Sappy, Lovey dovey material ahead, guys may want to his the back button now**
Then there is this extra part of me. It has to do with a boyfriend that I recently starting being 'official' with. His name is Michael. I've known him for years, but up until fall of last semester did things start to take a more serious turn. Before Michael I was dating a guy named Jordan for three years. I wanted to do the whole independent situation since I was going to be a big college student. What an idiot I was last summer, just one of those weird transitional stages of my life where I thought I knew what I was doing but in actuality I was an out of control mess, to say the least. College straightened me out, back to reality, and so long summer chaos. Seeing Michael after this was refreshing. He has friends that go to UW-Madison, and he is in the Marine Corps. stationed in Washington D.C. So when he can he comes and visits. Michael gave me a jingle and I headed on over to party with them all. Sparks flew. The next thing I know, I am missing him wondering how he is doing, and when the next time he would be coming back. This was quite the different feelings I had with other guys in between the Jordan and Michael relationships. Anyway, I got to see him about once a month for a weekend. He invited me to go with him and like 5 of his other guys friends to a skiing trip over winter break. I of course went. Me being the only girl, I quickly brought back the tomboy attitudes I once had a while back and fit right in. This was one of Michael's "tests". (He had been cheated on in the past, so he has some trust issues.) I passed with flying colors and was even dubbed a "brah". He and I talked about being more serious. We both knew it wasn't going to be easy but was something we felt worthwhile to commit to. A month or so later and he is gone overseas. He can't say where he is and how long he'll be gone, just hints. All I do know is that he's 17 hours across the Atlantic Ocean by plane...wherever that is. The truth is that this is the ultimate "test". I have to stay strong for him and open his heart to me. I won't break it, that was a promise. We are at such a fragile state in the relationship. It's very young at this point. He wasn't able to spend Valentine's Day with me and now my birthday he has to miss. I just keep telling myself it will all be worth in the end when he comes home safely. That's the thing though, I worry way too much. Our people are at such turmoil with one another, that killing is the result. I couldn't handle Michael's loss. All I can do is pray and take this day by day. Keeping myself occupied at all times. At night is the worse when I am not busy and realize I am here alone while he and other soldiers are fighting for us to be able to rest our heads in comfort. This only leads me to feel so proud and honored to be his significant other. I can only repay him with my arms for him to return to and my heart. I know I can do this. One and half more years and he's done. Finally then can Michael start his "normal" civilian life with me.

"Semper Fidelis"-Always Faithful
~Marine Corps. Motto~